tongue of silence

100 things i have done in my life

1. had a spotted DEER as a pet
2. had a parrot as a pet
3. had a chicken as a pet
4. had rabbits
5. had a mynah as a pet
6. had a dog
7. made a sandcastle
8. flew kites
9. caught fire on my frock
10. planted flower seeds which actually bloomed
11. planted chili seeds and cooked a meal using the chilies from that plant
12. experienced an earthquake
13. ate ice chunks that fell from the sky during a hailstorm
14. danced in the rain on the rooftop
15. bicycle raced with the boys of shamoly( where I used to live as a teen)
16. had admiration for a girl!
17. walked on a village road only using moonlight
18. asked a guy out in front of the school /friends
19. tried pulling a rickshaw
20. climbed a rope ladder to a tree-house
21. tried to swim in a village pond
22. won the first prize in a lottery
23. won a writing contest
24. hugged a Billy
25. cried for a cow after it was slaughtered during Eid
26. had pen pals in different countries
27. caught a fish in the floodwater
28. taken a boat in the floodwater
29. tried shooting using my dad's rifle at the age of 10
30. sang lullabies, feed and changed nappies
31. said “I love you” to someone
32. had been in a jeep which fell in a small dump in a remote area
33. caught a cockroach in my palm
34. poked a house monitor lizard with a pin to see if the blood was really white
35. stalked someone (for my friend!)
36. been stalked by someone
37. soaked my feet in freezing water under a huge waterfall
38. vandalized a table top at a fast food place to carve my and best friend’s name out of it
39. prank called people
40. cheated during a test
41. acted in a play
42. smoked sheesha
43. been to the longest beach in the world (as they claim haha)
44. rode an elephant and a horse
45. rode a “thelagari”
46. stayed in a bungalow which was supposedly haunted
47. watched the same movie 15 times
48. climbed a hill to watch sunrise
49. climbed a hill to count the stars in an island
50. explored a cave along with hundreds of bats and a snake
51. went for rapid shooting in the whitewater
52. swam in the whitewater
53. went on a night jungle safari during a thunder/ rain on the back of a open top FWD and shivered throughout
54. ate something which had a dead fly on it
55. drank something with ants in it
56. snorkeled in the sea
57. canoed far in the sea and laid back and gazed at the sky
58. kissed someone in the rain (ok maybe drizzle)
59. watched two movies in a row at the theatre one day before final exams
60. ate snow
61. had a crush on an attached person (I didn’t know then!)
62. ran across a suspension bridge
63. laid down at the beach and counted stars
64. watched sunrise from 30000 feet above the ground
65. went on backpacking trips
66. ate snails in Phnom Penh
67. climbed a few hundreds of steps at Angkor Wat to watch the sunset
68. climbed hundreds of steps to view Sydney harbor
69. sketched “Bangkok” out
70. inhaled clouds in while riding a rollercoaster in Genting
71. wore a burkha/ hijab at Putrajaya
72. taken a third class local train in Bangladesh
73. got drenched in Brunei
74. hanged myself out of the window from a train in Melbourne
75. stayed in a 3x3 m room in Kuala Lumpur
76. stayed at a beach cottage in Pulau rawa
77. snowboarded at the Australian Alps
78. had a sleepless night in a guesthouse at Cameron only to hear the only person next to you is sleep talking in the middle of the night
79. ran after a kangaroo
80. stayed in the studio for 2 weeks in a row
81. been part of an overnight fishing
82. went to visit a haunted house
83. danced at a club
84. painted a portrait for someone
85. designed a real life building
86. didn’t sleep for 3 nights in a row (not even for 1 hr)
87. talked for 7 hours on the phone
88. cried for someone
89. taken a cable car
90. rode a fire brigade vehicle
91. sliced my finger while making a model (quite a few times!)
92. had instant cup noodles for breakfast, lunch, dinner and breakfast again
93. had my articles published at some newspaper/ magazine
94. missed a flight to Bangkok
95. taken a lift from a stranger
96. paid for a stranger for a bus ride
97. got conned
98. built a pavilion
99. ran cross-country (very slow haha)
100. did karate( on going ah)

posted by tongueofsilence @ 11:01 PM 1 comments

purposely unspoken words

A love that was not meant to be told

Yet

I have said. Perhaps

Among all those jokes and bickering

When

Empty words became real

And you would never know.

The language was never the same.

And also because

I would never say it again.

A love that was not meant to be felt

Yet

I could feel. Perhaps

During those late hours of tiredness

When

I missed your presence

And you would never know.

The language was never the same.

And also because

I would never say it again

A love that was not meant to be loved

Yet

I have loved, perhaps

For a fraction of a second

Or perhaps

For eternity.

And you would never know.

posted by tongueofsilence @ 12:05 AM 0 comments

its better late(to update) than never (to update)

Many of the times I update my blogs at weird times; night before some exam or during studio sessions or when I am dead sleepy and haven’t slept for 2-3 nights..today is such a day...
so many things have happened over the past few months but I do not have the energy to recall them right now..
Last week I had a bad news..yong quan, the guy I respected so much..also liked him much as a friend, met with an accident and was badly injured...hmm..why god must do this to him..he was one person who was such brave and responsible..had great hands to work with which often surprised ppl..now he can hardly use his hands before 1year of time..it was just so sad that I could not control my tears when I went to visit him...may allah bless him..

just now talked to this friend of mine who was complaining about the inevitable distance that grew between us over the last semester..This is rather complicated and was inevitable as he was a very close buddy of my ex and since my ex started dating another girl recently, all of us could not hang out together anymore! Oh yah, another thing..I was amazed with myself for dealing with this matter in such a great way..I really did not have any trouble seeing the couple together! Thanks to god!:)
Here comes the next part..that friend is now not so close with my ex anymore and he is finding himself alone in aki, alone and friendless. I hope that is not true.

finally after 2yrs of being in the same studio nus aki could finally seperate me and nurul..hehe..i hope that dosnt affect our closeness in anyway..it feels good to see the exchange students back to studio but it certainly dosnt feel good when the "market spoilers" enter our studio..argh!

and I had a new haircut this semester..but I am having a hard time maintaining it..its kind of messy and short..i even "modeled" for some local Bengali mag..haha..funny huh..that reminds me that I met this guy recently at some random occasion and while talking about his interests it felt as if it was me speaking with his voice! I called him my twin haha..backpacking, dhakaiya rickshaw surfing, winter loving, writing, and photography..wow! and he is among those kind of people with whom I felt really comfortable toking.. quirky, funny and has the ability to understand jokes as well! I hope he can be a good friend in future!

oh yah..nurul has been complaining about not having a bf..same old story..why must all the guys we even get interested on, turn out to be attached, too wild or even gay!
argh!

posted by tongueofsilence @ 1:25 AM 0 comments

waking up

Every time I have some excuses ready for delayed posts! Yess I was in Dhaka and because of insanely slow internet connection I was not able to put up any posts…may to august. a long break indeed. So many things have happened. I have been to Cambodia and Bangladesh. Amazing! Thanks to god for giving me such a wonderful holidays. Cambodia-where I wanted to go for long and Dhaka-where my heart belonged..ok erm sounded a bit like a rhyme but anyways I have a lot to crap today. Cambodia was amazing with its magical temples, sumptuous food and awesome people. I ended up with enormous pain in the lower part of my body from all the climbing and also with a skin complexion closer to the native African’s. but all is well if the end is well..and so I proudly can state the fact that I survived in Cambodia:D

posted by tongueofsilence @ 4:20 AM 0 comments

its been long:(

oh wow! its been long. literally!
i cant blame myself much for not posting anything for the past few months as i was so caught up with my work and submissions. oh well now that i am working it dosnt seem to get any better. one of the few days i have to work for 14 hrs a day! thats kind of insane isnt it! and i must say working life in JL seems to be quite happening. in a matter of 2 days 3 ppl were sacked! erm i gotta be careful i guess!
after the exam i thought of having a new hair and oh no! why did i even thought of it! the stupid lady at the salon cut my waist length hair into a shoulder length one and asked me if it was okay!!! wtfxbvchd!!!! u HAVE ALREADY cut my hair!!!!!! whats the point of asking me then? i have asked her so many times not to cut the original length! i was so angry that i wantd to sue the salon! argh! i was looking like a nonya when i came out of it oh damn!
anyways my hair issue was over about 2 weeks back!
nothing new is happening. oh well i have seen this cute neighbour of mine but okay thats it. i am not some 14yrs old to drool over him now hehe!
but its fun to be like a early teen!i wish i could get back those times!
and here is the pic with my new hair! argh!

posted by tongueofsilence @ 3:59 AM 1 comments

depressed

Lately I am realizing ,I am ,after all a loner. I like to shop alone. I like to walk around alone. Its not exactly I do not like to be among others. I love to hangout with my friends and their company is just so precious but then again at times I do not feel like bothering people. Oh well may be I think they would be bothered but in reality they might not be but then again I cant really convince myself. Okay that was just a self realization! Last night I went for the sde bash. Was fun and fun; way more than I expected. I danced for long and danced after 5 long years There were just so many people dancing away the night with the loud music on and then I was there too yet…at times I felt like I was so alone. A feeling of emptiness was running through my veins. I do not know what exactly the reason was. My ex went down to the bash ..yes I danced with him as well just like with many other guys but I do not know why I had this very tiny sharp pain..hurting me when I saw him with others. And I was depressed of things I wasn’t much aware of even hours back or may be I was but over time, I forgot that to some extent. But I screamed and screamed and behaved as if I was having such a blast! I felt like drinking until I could lose my consciousness and could forget everything but again on a second thought, I couldn’t possibly have done such a thing forgetting all my values. And as the night comes to an end and everything becomes quiet, the depression grasps me again. And again.

how about a life inside the toilet?

posted by tongueofsilence @ 4:28 AM 2 comments

down with recollection

ok another oldie
Wandering Feet

Knock! Knock!
Anybody home!
I am tired.
No-wise can I stand.
Wandering feet came across miles and miles.
Melting pitch kisses my sole now.
Welt is no more.
I am tired.
No-wise can I stand.
And
invidious life with forfeited schemes
and lost hopes and squandered dreams
still follow.
I am tired.
No-wise can I stand.
Door slams on my unrequited ghost.
Weary feet walk again.
Knock! Knock!
Anybody home!

posted by tongueofsilence @ 1:30 AM 0 comments

recollection

ok lah..this is a poem i wrote 5/6yrs back..was on poetry.com but just felt like republishing it here.


Trampled Soul

And
her soul was creepled.
A last drop of tear rolled down an inch,
paralysed,and dried up.
Bloody puddle flowed out of her torn pudenda.
Sharp claws violated every bit of it.
Frayed, bit and shoved;she remained still.
Contempted body drank up all concrete
nightmares.
Dreams were shattered;
the tiny life tryingto merge inside was like a sinister.
Her feet were standing on the railing of the bridge.
A feathery smoke of lilac happiness spiraledup her statue;
she flew to unburden her trampled soul.
Water ripples died of slowly.

posted by tongueofsilence @ 1:21 AM 0 comments